Modern Family...

 I'll hold you down,am gonna ...-Dj Khalead feat CB n Co

Am so grateful i will say that much,having grown up in a tight bonded household where we would hold hands at the dinner table and say grace before each meal,filled with lots of love& support,huge manner n mannerism,had a lot of direction while choosing career path.So forgive me when i sound a bit close-minded as how the other half lives. See,this was the norm i knew existed which applicably translated into defining my stance point,Family roots stretches a long way n gives depths to how we eventually turn out. I adopted the American lingo just to bring this post home and create more clarity. Having gulped down all the oooh,ahhhh in dem so called reality TV shows-not my best definition for a relaxing day but i thought the scenes n sights in KKWTK,obnoxious n morally loosed pairs in love n Hip hop Hollywood could subdue my boredom but Alas was more disgusted than entertained.It literally woke up this iriky feeling in me ,wanted to put it off quickly so i concluded that except my half has been so selfish without letting in on how, generally,or love n hip hop was a very tasteful scripted reality show and the likes of Ray j are wonderful actors-this played out all in y head though...I think its so fitting with the love month n all to rant about these niches/co-habitual living which seemed a bit dysfunctional especially when the ladies are  constantly feeling inadequate while the cocky lads are shamelessly gloating.

The New Normal: Growing up mama used to scold us 'sit like a lady,cross your legs,chew lightly 'because our memories still filled with her presumed order of things:first comes the Man,then courtship,the ring 'marriage and then incomes the babe.Words of old,so futile.So she thought girls will be women and boys will be Men and she was wronged.Baby mamma on the rise,Girls be flaunting it on SM like that could pass up for a PhD,how condescending.Guys,a right to brag ;they pose. Others fulfilled to have aced a test on fertility.Naive couple obviously deluded just trying to put up a united front  so why fuss around...its a bit of a clouded situation because trying to portray a strong family unit which will be healthy for both mother n child and at whose mercy,just putting it together even if it means faking it till they make it.Am  endeared,' a baby trumps all' but who is to tell it doesn't snag & suck both parties into tying the knot when the truth is lurking around.Its a huge step-up from owing up and accepting responsibility but the order of things were made for a reason,this may seem right from the surface; all parties involved being at concord-seemingly normal.There's an underlying message here,Mama was right then,she's still right now;keep those legs crossed & i hope we ladies get to see this n really learn how to tighten the lid on that cookie jar.
Guts over Fear: 'Hold me down,show that you got my back like you go'in be there for the long run' I never got to fully decrypting those terms,apparently mostly used by chicas when they have assessed their non-exclusive/non-existence relationship and are now asking for more than just a bed mate. Its quite a pathetic feeling to experience unrequited love esp when you have attained a certain age,feeling like you have less options than to scavenge through the garbage,even worse when you wear your heart on your sleeve and adamantly refuse to admit to reality...Self-worth and self-love plays a huge role here,you don't need a man whom you profess so much love for and sneezes out his name at will and then he refuses to reciprocate.The 'i don't do labels 'is way under-rated like that its close enough to the trophy,he cant have it both ways.Gone are the days of 'Good men are hard to find',don't ever be trapped into this kind of limbo.The world is changing,we are learning more n gaining more grounds call him out immediately at same time let him know that 'a bird at hand is worth thousands in the bush' cos obviously he didn't quite get the memo.It takes a gut-filled woman to count her loses and step out without sweats.
                                                  Soundtrack of the moment-Bye Felicia- Jordin Sparks

Boys to Men:I could confidently say in this scenario all love was lost & values , moral thrown to the wind..i mean she was raised by a Man with five baby mamas(no judgey fingers )its pretty obvious all negated her upbringing .She wanted a man but ended up with a boy,who out-rightly plays his age...and they say 'age is just a number',most times its absolutely incorrect .Maturity does tell a lot about a person;his ability to handle issues-good or bad,progressive discussions &plans,reasonable line of thoughts.it clearly shows a need & the lack thereof for a Manly figure and want for love n attention.'You only live your childhood once' ,for most it takes more than two decades Except if you want your twenties to be filled with blurred memories of beer shots and wild parties which might seem all fun at the time until...'He brings home the bacon','you don't do well on your own'....reality check honey,those hands n legs were not created just for bedroom and bathroom selfies;get to work.Cut the umbilical cord and let facts be facts. In the end if it all plays well n metamorphosis has taken its place,its probably  yours...
                     Well,except we, yet again blame this norms/culture on the kind of patriarchy dominating system we live in and the marginalism it drudges the female folks to bear.But then again the paucity of strength n will we hold ;we should cherish. Or is it the linency we are granted of adulthood (at such an early age)which allows most of the Men/Women to toll their lifes in totally self-propelled directions,making very boom-boom decision ,taking up huge responsibilities acting like we have a clue to what really lies ahead. The Western ideology that has so influenced us and sunken so deeply in is this;white picket fences with large garages ,fast cars -the order to which we acquire these is inconsequential.The rise of 'illegitimate' homes and the trending baby mama title is note-worthy but who is watching much less learning- that's what the therapists are paid to listen to;which generation is willing to grow.

      Kite productions @ the old Nicon house,independence layout Enugu state.

       
            At the risk of sounding like a partisan ,both parties share equal amount for the these discords in the matter.Ladies am not advocating we should all fall off the face of reality & being Drunk n love,before we throw all caution to the wind know that a lot has been imbedded in us and now is time to put it to good use.Taking a moment to weigh your options & re-valuate certain lifes choices .They care enough then they should put a ring on it-those lyrics resonates all too loudly enough. Instead of hounding on and wagging the mantle as the highest hit maker,playa, striker in town know this; a real man knows a real woman when he sees her and a real woman knows when he's trying to please her-Alicia Keys.We keep our eyes out and pray we there's still some regular ,good good loving left for us 'hopeless romantics'.

                          Rave or Rant: The world is an open scene,cast yourselves in well. 

                                                  Thank You For Reading!!!

TRUE COLOURS...

             
                     Soundtrack of the moment: Flavour’s  ’Black is beautiful’   
 I think long and hard and have always heeded to my own wise words to continue to find more creative and engaging content for YOU my audience, far beyond the fickle realm of fashion  & beauty-No pun intended though. I aspire to inspire through my works; not to seem so opinionated as to shove my ideas down your throat. But with the increasing quest and unflattering desire for perfection I dare to air my own views and  give my own fair quarter to society .This post was born after my stay at Jos where it seems the people in that particular demographic are not yet in tuned with what other ’exposed’ part are into.
   I probably could say ignorance is bliss but on this subject I make no mistake to assume for them; they are very much entuned. I took a stroll one evening and quite a few people that passed us by, I had to exclaim more than once and my friend asked “what’s that ?” I replied coyly “mehn that girl is really dark, all these white people will see her and be bound by instinct, nature  to discriminate without even knowing it”. He sighed and said “well these people are really dark”.

    It got me thinking to how society has shifted our senses. White beauty is epitomized in beauty-land. I had to question what our fate was left on because we are in this by no doing of ours -*rolling my eyes to those who think we are cursed with a dark skin and won’t be referred  to as black*.I am no saint, so to say I have not envied or wished anytime I pick up a magazine with everyone screaming how pretty the girl on the cover is just because she s somewhat on the lighter side is denial. The dexterity of beauty couldn’t be over-emphasized; beauty pageants, advert publication heightened these absurdities. Too many beauty shops and items springing up and beckoning on us tirelessly; you mustn’t be waded on cash to get your  hands on a bottle of lightening or enhancing products. From the salesperson to the very attractive packaging of the contents, so enticing; our plight for beauty seems so endless.
                     Now playing: Bruno Mars ft B.O.B-Beautiful girls
      The street corners filled enchantingly with someone constantly signaling at you as “Nwanyi Ocha”(fair lady) which puts our mind in a swirling mood as ME? and then leaves a thought lingering in your head “am actually fair oh”. I should do something more. What was generally considered as pretty back in the days lies in the colour of the skin .Applause and more rounds of applause to all those who has stood strong against the tides and didn’t succumb to this siege.

       I may be lost, or out-dated or old schooled but bearing in mind how sensitive this issue is and seen a lot of cosmetic surgery, argumentation gone wrong and with so many media-preached graphics and documentations that still justify this.I won’t judge neither will I point accusing fingers; I guess there are obviously deep rooted reasons that will compel anyone to alter his/her body complexion or just plain ignorance mixed with no self-love. Knowledge, they say is power; we should get equipped with details before leaping into this adventure.BTW, Black is the white...lol.
  
            Amy rants in the words of Dallas Willard: You can live opposite of what you profess , but you can’t  live opposite of what you believe…                                                 

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Feel the Heat...

I thrust myself into the winds of this new year with great strengths and vigour filled with high hopes of soaring far & conquering much!This post was inspired by this guy's determination plus a commitment i made myself few months back. Seeing as i don't reside in the diaspora where chances are enormous to the least and being here where every professional constantly scathily critiques you on the paper and your profession could seem irrelevant/relevant per seconds past;as my hope dwindles n my candle diminishes gradually i decided to nudge You & I up a notch.

             ''I am learning everyday to allow the space between where i am  & where I want be   to inspire me and not terrify me''.   -Tracee Ellis Rose. 

I aspire to inspire though am well aware that am not the only one who has drank the kool-aid n participated as specimen in the Fed.Govt's lab called(NYSC) and now finally joined the band wagon and angrily jamming the lyrics to Mj's 'they don't really care about us';forgive my sarcasm but i saw through their every moves...I equipped myself mentally,spiritually& financially as if have measured the extent of this trail and in much preparedness i even adopted the mantra 'wear patience like Sarah'...But fear has a way of trudging one through a life of falsehood,denying us the liberty of joy,hope n dreams.

            'Courage is the choice to act in faith while fear is present'.  -Anonymous.

 Being  a newly-minted graduate/ex-corp swimming in the sea of uncertainties,doubts and resounding N.O's ;its quite difficult because we live in a world that teaches us that our futures are within our autonomous control,dependent on our pro activity,ability to network or the individual's intuitive judgement.Part of my year 's resolution veered around self-satisfaction and contention but comparism hasn't left me enough rooms to indulge. It is really the thief of joy. Trying hard to curb and nip these habits while some of my camaraderie are already deep-necked assuming their graduate roles stating apparently that am in losing game with time,while some are being whisked away to vacations turned marriage...last December was pure torture,Yet I live!The paths we choose are from our conscious reasoning.

Commuters taking the London tube, celebrating the No Pants day.

'If you saw the size of the blessing coming you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting.'-Anonymous.

So am taking it all in,absorbing every trails ,prepping myself up so when the opportunity presents itself I'll ace it. So till next time when we will be forced to watch President G and  General B slug it out and dole out their intentions,policies and plans for after school grad programs during their debate(sure to bring my cup of coffee) i hope my strengths ,wits.zeal withstands this scourge.

'By preservance the snail reached the ark ' -Charles Spurgeon.

Photo credit: Google.

                                    

                                                    Thank You for Reading!!!

            

Checks n Balances…

                           My apologies,this post is beyond belated..I really have to work to keep to                                              schedules. But here goes...

 
                                Soundtrack of the moment: 5 seconds of summer- Amnesia

        In the art of war sun Tzu say “All warfare is based on deception. Hence , when we are able to attack, we must seem unable, when using our forces, we must appear inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away when we are near”. Quick note here, this is not a war zone but seeing as we might be at war with friends, colleagues, family e.t.c so don’t let this quote impinge you. With the year winding down, I thought this post aptly suits the season as mistakes have been made, paths crossed , strokes lashed. We are being overtly cautious and guarded as to drop all baggage, break away from old tides. Unsure of whom to turn to and this develops trust issues, but never forget that life is never truly ridden of pitfalls and setbacks sometimes masked as relationship/friendship. Experience is really the best teacher, and there's more to life than false pretenses.

Sights in Enugu State

       
 And it all became painfully clear to me, as an adult, there’s suspicion, hatred and fear but as a child there’s joy, laughter and most of all there is trust. Always thought that that if children ran the world, it would be a place of eternal bliss and cheer but with adults ; there is war, destruction, enmity unending. We doubt in others that which is exactly fact in ourselves. The skeletons in our very own closet are the things that scare us the most about others. The most trusting of people are not people who have never been betrayed or who have never felt pain, but the most trusting of people are those who in themselves do not find those trivial things worthy of that blame. They see the world through the eyes of the condition of their own souls. Its amusing at times, these people seem to forget that they still see you the next day-frigging  annoying. I’m not a happy-go-lucky freak who loves singing in the shower or dancing in the rain but I love to have priceless smiles on my face and most of the times I have my family and friends there to put those grins on. I love great friendships (don’t know how Taylor Swift does it) as I feel they should be an integral part of living .My mantra  has been ‘invest in those that invests in you’. That being said I don’t expect my friends to think, act exactly as I do; I do not walk around with clones or robots. But the most important aspect of our friendship is the room we give each other to grow while we still be ourselves.
                        “False friends are like our shadows, keeping close to us while we walk in sunshine but leaving us the instant we cross into the shade.” Christain Nestell Boree
               Am no new person to deception, chunk of liars ,misconceptions; love me or hate me as am well aware that life is filled with different caliber of people with a lot of sentimental B.S (Apologies for the unsubtly rage, anger seems to have engulfed me), its no easy feat. I try as much as my human strengths can, not to harbor any bad blood or let pride cloud my judgments; trying to keep it together but its actually has no good for my health. Time is the healer of some many things and forgiveness is really for the strong. Knowing convincingly that there is a peak of hope for normalcy, I take solace in his words; forgive him seventy times seven per day, know that am not your enemy, can’t really have this grudge for the rest of my life (my Christian faith has strong holds on me). In the end, I am more than willing to compromise, to throw in the towel, knowing that I have nothing to lose, walk away and try to salvage a friendship. At the risk of trying to conjecture the meaning of the word ‘friend’ I do believe it’s a two-way traffic. However, I’m no fool and have sensed when the friendship is no longer worth it ;when it feels you have given it your all and no compromises made at the other end; then its time to call it what it really is. It’s been real while it lasted ; no hard feelings ,time to move on swiftly…

Enugu State fiesta 2014

                                       Soundtrack of the moment: Magic-Rude
        So, for every  distrust that we will inevitably face, let’s not count it as failures or regrets but as lessons that will propel us to higher grounds as we ourselves are no perfect beings. Never allow trivial issues be the cause of a relationship gone sours but be brutally honest-tough love, if you need to be and call out a pal who isn’t giving at all in that friendship. Always keep our heads up because if its down you won’t be able to see the blessings that are before us.
   

            “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies”-Nelson Mandela.

                                         Amy raves…..Let love and let God.

Photo credit: Enugu State Tourism board

                                                 Thank you for reading!!!
          

Perfect Junks.

Bey n Kim; Changed it…..
                            Soundtrack of the moment: all bout the bass -Meghan Trainor

     I was so amazed when the video ‘all bout d bass’ dropped on MTV by Meghan Trainor; nice lyrics, clear message. This was a pretty young Brit lady with all her junk in the right places and now she was being put up against some silicone stuffed dolls , one would think she’s acquired all the tough skin she needed to brace herself against all these body image talk. But here she was was singing and raising her voice about these huge comparisons that has trapped our mindsets not that she’s the ist but I really applaud her. However,  guess am so fortunate, but to say am not irked about that archaic mentality it possibly means am in denial .Growing up I had always loved eating; that was my most comfortable niche, I picked up a few weight, but as a kid I could care less then, boarding school clinched in and totally killed my appetite. I would say ’no’ to certain dishes the; foodie master was gone ! My dad was probably the happiest cos I ate voraciously…..

    Kick few years off the chart ; puberty set  in ,thought I was early enough but the curves refused to take form. As I matured up ,I had being within almost the same body weight without any rigorous exercise(if u call stretches n squats exercise)*hides faces*am not a gym bunny. I was taken aback sometimes back when a friend of mine who was one of the original skinnies had gained a few pounds and she said she was loving it-she had met a weight gain diet. Bear in mind that weight issues affects both parties; so for the lads who by reading this ,puff and beat their chest and pretend not to be bothered  should maybe ask Human Ken; why all the surgeries!  Anyways am a fully grown lady and have come to accept my body C,B and 8 figures and embraced all my insecurities-quite comfortable I must say.

     Eating disorders, food issues,weight ups n downs has taken its toll in the western world and its gradually sipping in and dealing with what we’ve always appreciated as Africans due to our cultural background and orientation. Food has been our way of saying ’welcome’, n’safe trip’ n all, our weapon of goodwill. From anorexia to bulimia to starvation, popping pills, smoking weird stuff, taking all sort hunger quenching liquid in the name of Tea, don’t even wanna rant about the extreme-life threatening surgeries,even the Botched doctors tell you when its near danger. People are seriously struggling all in the quest to fit in, keep up and to be seen as healthy. YEEPA! to you who has and has decided to starve.

                                Soundtrack of the Moment: Beyonce- Pretty hurts

    For so long it was the very skinny ,frail model look and that’s what we grew up looking at, thinking that was the general norm ;the size zero dresses sells out fast ,the thinner girl takes home the crown, you’ve to lose a few pounds to be on the cover, ‘you are putting on some weight and its not a good look for our brand’ they say. Then to see women like Bey n Kim who are very successful people and has been criticized about certain life choices .They have really kind of revolutionized what beauty is and have made women to start embracing their body types, helping us understand the beauty in being curvaceous and that you mustn’t be something that you’re not. I’d say kudos! for changing our ideology, giving us a better perception, making us appreciate what was ours from the onset and teaching us  that we should carry our buxom and voluptuous nature with confidence because that’s our pride .Your infamous bodies speak for itself. So I’d say if you GAT it, by all means please FLAUNT it….. Let this not be misconstrued as I do not knock with those who buy into the plastic surgeon’s special and place all that ridiculous vain order, as I know based on the psychology of men that the general ensemble of an endowed lady should consist of silicone stuffed racks, thin waist and fat infused derrieres-hence the strife;  know that the natural looking woman is now on trend.

                    

   These issues can be so frustrating to handle, so my one cent in the matter is never forget to take the healthy approach, start a purge or a cleanse, seek help from professionals and don’t judge yourself harshly cos you’re beautiful inside out no matter what. Be happy with yourself!

                 Amy raves…..You are imperfect. permanently and inevitably flawed.And you're Beautiful.

PS: the pictures are obviously old as marked by my camera timer but i loved the views so i guess it should suffice. BTW who can guess where they taken? 

 

                                                   Thank you for reading………..