AM ONLY HUMAN.

                                Soundtrack of the moment-Human by Christiana Perri

It doesn’t quite take the longest moment to suss the direction of this post; pretty obvious. ’Am only human’ not only have I been listening to Christina Perri song on repeat but this phrase has stuck on my lips of late in response to virtually every question. Am not a flaker, am a sturdy hard worker but I ‘ve been working into over-drive lately; from connesieuring long to-do list on daily to drafting long term goals/aspirations. More than I lay on myself, the awkward silence and side eye glances I get from everyday people, colleagues, relatives. To them am a well-rounded grown woman; I pride myself as one so its probably unattainable for me to fall short under par. Am constantly being scrutinized, weighed and definitely judged on all levels but like ace musicians 2face & M.I, I chime along ‘if nobody talk about then you’re nobody’...but that’s story for another day.

Outfit designed by Me.

 Am gradually beginning to understand Reality and Society, getting a little grasp of it. The idea of being the ‘Super Human’ in all perceptive is totally flawed because we are supposed to work without limits, effective beyond our capacities; eluding the fact that we are fragile creatures that can inadvertently crack under pressure; the pressures from world-set standards .Society primes to us to constantly yearn for more accolades at every life’s stage, our quests for perfection and zest for accomplishments beats our capabilities, we are made to put up strong, impenetrable holds, to stand poised and astute; so we strive to garner more, even to the most prudent, our vulnerabilities and limitations rears in .  I too have pinned to embody these characteristics as I have solely clothed under this self-sufficiency and dependency imagery in the past and that’s just mythical.

           The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection- George Orwell 

Slowly but surely we are bound to break. The concept of relaxation is so alien to us because we’ve adopted and fixated on the notion that 'the clock is always ticking', time is money’ but at who’s expense; plus we are made to believe that the only way to sustainable prosperity is through hardwork. Granted, I concur...And I crash and break down, your words in head , knives in my heart. The crux of the matter isn’t about breaking down-the nature of being able to be both broken and whole , at the same time. But the recognition of the limitations in the workability of the basic human and knowing when to recruit reinforcement, this does not in any way insinuate weakness. I’m not all knowing neither am i flawless,  and in sticking to that am refusing to create a false impression of who I am truly.

Subtly starting to display pictures of me here...lol

 Maturity dawned at the realization that am only human and its neither by our power nor strength (phil 4:13). As humans…,as individuals, we grow. Am mature enough to acknowledge my strengths and weaknesses & making absolutely no excuses for where I might slip. We are only Human and being Human to me means never loosing foot on my foundational values and straying into the hands of the world. More like I would’ve done in the past, strongly rooting my spiritual springboard on God alone ( here’s hoping we all reverence the same higher Being). Am glad to unburden myself and totally relinquish charge over life and allowing Jesus To Take The Wheel.  Life is completely uncontrollable and there’s no telling what tomorrow might bring but for a day am more than willing to ease up and just be a Human.

Amy Raves…’but in this life, I search to be completely human: to feel, to give, to take, to laugh, to get lost, to be found, to dance, to love, and to lust, to be so human- C.JoyBell .C.


                                         THANK YOU FOR READING!!!