6 February 2015

Modern Family...

 I'll hold you down,am gonna ...-Dj Khalead feat CB n Co

Am so grateful i will say that much,having grown up in a tight bonded household where we would hold hands at the dinner table and say grace before each meal,filled with lots of love& support,huge manner n mannerism,had a lot of direction while choosing career path.So forgive me when i sound a bit close-minded as how the other half lives. See,this was the norm i knew existed which applicably translated into defining my stance point,Family roots stretches a long way n gives depths to how we eventually turn out. I adopted the American lingo just to bring this post home and create more clarity. Having gulped down all the oooh,ahhhh in dem so called reality TV shows-not my best definition for a relaxing day but i thought the scenes n sights in KKWTK,obnoxious n morally loosed pairs in love n Hip hop Hollywood could subdue my boredom but Alas was more disgusted than entertained.It literally woke up this iriky feeling in me ,wanted to put it off quickly so i concluded that except my half has been so selfish without letting in on how, generally,or love n hip hop was a very tasteful scripted reality show and the likes of Ray j are wonderful actors-this played out all in y head though...I think its so fitting with the love month n all to rant about these niches/co-habitual living which seemed a bit dysfunctional especially when the ladies are  constantly feeling inadequate while the cocky lads are shamelessly gloating.

The New Normal: Growing up mama used to scold us 'sit like a lady,cross your legs,chew lightly 'because our memories still filled with her presumed order of things:first comes the Man,then courtship,the ring 'marriage and then incomes the babe.Words of old,so futile.So she thought girls will be women and boys will be Men and she was wronged.Baby mamma on the rise,Girls be flaunting it on SM like that could pass up for a PhD,how condescending.Guys,a right to brag ;they pose. Others fulfilled to have aced a test on fertility.Naive couple obviously deluded just trying to put up a united front  so why fuss around...its a bit of a clouded situation because trying to portray a strong family unit which will be healthy for both mother n child and at whose mercy,just putting it together even if it means faking it till they make it.Am  endeared,' a baby trumps all' but who is to tell it doesn't snag & suck both parties into tying the knot when the truth is lurking around.Its a huge step-up from owing up and accepting responsibility but the order of things were made for a reason,this may seem right from the surface; all parties involved being at concord-seemingly normal.There's an underlying message here,Mama was right then,she's still right now;keep those legs crossed & i hope we ladies get to see this n really learn how to tighten the lid on that cookie jar.
Guts over Fear: 'Hold me down,show that you got my back like you go'in be there for the long run' I never got to fully decrypting those terms,apparently mostly used by chicas when they have assessed their non-exclusive/non-existence relationship and are now asking for more than just a bed mate. Its quite a pathetic feeling to experience unrequited love esp when you have attained a certain age,feeling like you have less options than to scavenge through the garbage,even worse when you wear your heart on your sleeve and adamantly refuse to admit to reality...Self-worth and self-love plays a huge role here,you don't need a man whom you profess so much love for and sneezes out his name at will and then he refuses to reciprocate.The 'i don't do labels 'is way under-rated like that its close enough to the trophy,he cant have it both ways.Gone are the days of 'Good men are hard to find',don't ever be trapped into this kind of limbo.The world is changing,we are learning more n gaining more grounds call him out immediately at same time let him know that 'a bird at hand is worth thousands in the bush' cos obviously he didn't quite get the memo.It takes a gut-filled woman to count her loses and step out without sweats.
                                                  Soundtrack of the moment-Bye Felicia- Jordin Sparks

Boys to Men:I could confidently say in this scenario all love was lost & values , moral thrown to the wind..i mean she was raised by a Man with five baby mamas(no judgey fingers )its pretty obvious all negated her upbringing .She wanted a man but ended up with a boy,who out-rightly plays his age...and they say 'age is just a number',most times its absolutely incorrect .Maturity does tell a lot about a person;his ability to handle issues-good or bad,progressive discussions &plans,reasonable line of thoughts.it clearly shows a need & the lack thereof for a Manly figure and want for love n attention.'You only live your childhood once' ,for most it takes more than two decades Except if you want your twenties to be filled with blurred memories of beer shots and wild parties which might seem all fun at the time until...'He brings home the bacon','you don't do well on your own'....reality check honey,those hands n legs were not created just for bedroom and bathroom selfies;get to work.Cut the umbilical cord and let facts be facts. In the end if it all plays well n metamorphosis has taken its place,its probably  yours...
                     Well,except we, yet again blame this norms/culture on the kind of patriarchy dominating system we live in and the marginalism it drudges the female folks to bear.But then again the paucity of strength n will we hold ;we should cherish. Or is it the linency we are granted of adulthood (at such an early age)which allows most of the Men/Women to toll their lifes in totally self-propelled directions,making very boom-boom decision ,taking up huge responsibilities acting like we have a clue to what really lies ahead. The Western ideology that has so influenced us and sunken so deeply in is this;white picket fences with large garages ,fast cars -the order to which we acquire these is inconsequential.The rise of 'illegitimate' homes and the trending baby mama title is note-worthy but who is watching much less learning- that's what the therapists are paid to listen to;which generation is willing to grow.

      Kite productions @ the old Nicon house,independence layout Enugu state.
            At the risk of sounding like a partisan ,both parties share equal amount for the these discords in the matter.Ladies am not advocating we should all fall off the face of reality & being Drunk n love,before we throw all caution to the wind know that a lot has been imbedded in us and now is time to put it to good use.Taking a moment to weigh your options & re-valuate certain lifes choices .They care enough then they should put a ring on it-those lyrics resonates all too loudly enough. Instead of hounding on and wagging the mantle as the highest hit maker,playa, striker in town know this; a real man knows a real woman when he sees her and a real woman knows when he's trying to please her-Alicia Keys.We keep our eyes out and pray we there's still some regular ,good good loving left for us 'hopeless romantics'.

                          Rave or Rant: The world is an open scene,cast yourselves in well. 

                                                  Thank You For Reading!!!


  1. Nice job babe, keep it up.See you at the top.


  2. Thanks a lot Ud,love your blog,so many touching and refreshing life stories.


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